Scotty and I clink our Jarrito's bottles to start breakfast, our last meal together. He's staying another 5 days with friends who arrive later today; but I'm taking off. After breakfast I load up, and we hug and say goodbye. As I drive away he turns back to wave, and I feel a wave of emotion come over me. I struggle to hold back tears all the way to SanFrancisco, because I keep passing places we had seen on the way out. The Big Boy Market where we shopped, the In and Out Burger where we ate, the wind mill hills, the San Meteo Bridge; all these same sights I see, but this time I'm alone.
What's wrong with me? I like to be alone. I crave it. But right now as I sit here in the lobby of Pay Less Car Rental waiting for the airport shuttle service, all I can think about is the fun we had five days ago throwing our packs in the back of a rental car and taking off together. And now I'm sitting in that same place, and it's over and I'm by myself. (violine music please).
I'm on the airport tram now (ironically, I have the whole section to myself), and a thought hits me... Does God, as a father, ever feel the same way I do right now? I'm thinking back on the times I have distanced myself from Him, and I wonder... Does God ever feel a sense of loss when I wander? Does God long to connect with me the same way I long for time with my son? Something tells me He does.
Father, help me stay on this path toward deeper intimacy with You. Help me continue to draw closer to You. And while we're talking here, I just want to say thanks for the incredible time I had with my son!
Okay, time to start looking forward to other things, like Sara and Jonah coming home from Korea! That puts a smile on my face!
Posted on
Tue, August 25, 2009
by Chris Spitters